


the only time a man can be brave

by miruvor



Category: Dark Souls (Video Games), Dark Souls I
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 17:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miruvor/pseuds/miruvor
Summary: This is what they do not tell you in the legend of the Abysswalker. They do not tell you that he died a broken man. They do not tell you that fear cuts deeper than any wound you can receive on the battlefield.





	the only time a man can be brave

The knight falls to his knees.

He does not hear the impact that follows, does not notice the clattering of his sword and shield on the stone ground. There is only the absence of sound.

He stares into the endless Dark.

How did it come to this? Abysswalker, they called him. The shining hero, the iron-willed knight who drove back the Dark. He had made it his purpose in life, serving his Lord and protecting the Light of his domain.

The sight of the Abyss overrunning Oolacile and grasping every inch of reachable surface had only encouraged him to plunge further into the ruined town. After all, he had conquered the Abyss before. _Be strong, my heart, be strong. I have seen worse sights than this._ He had not been nearly frightened enough.

Now the Dark closes in, crushing and squeezing him until he can barely breathe. It engulfs his entire being, seeping into his skin and weaving through his veins. It writhes in his mind until he can think of nothing else. He clutches his head and lets out an unholy wail. A victorious knight no longer, but a man begging to die instead.

But something cuts through the cacophony of chaos. A growl of defiance.

_Sif._

His mind clears and he sees the wolf with perfect clarity. She stands on guard, just barely within his reach. She pulls back the corners of her mouth and snarls.

A trembling hand grasps for the sword that has lain forgotten by his side. _I do not fear the Dark_ , he tells himself. His fingers tighten around the grip of his blade. _I do not fear..._ He glances up at her once more.

And he suddenly realizes — how small she seems from here. Just a blot of grey against the vast nothingness.

 _No._ He grits his teeth. This is an enemy he cannot fight or win against. An enemy he is finally scared of.  She would sooner die with him than flee to save herself. He abandons his sword entirely and lunges for his shield. _Sif!_ The frigid air fills his lungs, and he lets out a wordless roar. With one fluid motion, he closes the gap and slams the shield into the ground before her.

Bright silver mutates into a rotten, dark purple as something smashes against the shield. His entire body shudders. The force drives him back, his heels digging into the earth. He vaguely hears the wolf’s yelps. At the same time, a cracking noise. Cold shock fills his chest; he feels nothing at first. Then the blinding, hot torture rushes up to his shoulder, and he realizes his arm is entirely useless now.

The wolf nudges his other arm and whines. Her ears have flattened against her skull, all attempts at a courageous front finally abandoned.

He offers her a weary smile. “Forgive me, my friend.” He backs away from her.

A barrier, nearly invisible and shimmering with light, extends outwards from the shield and encases the wolf. She whines louder now, frantically pawing at the walls that hold her.

There’s nothing more he can do. He closes his eyes and accepts his fate.

Unable to find a way back to her master’s side, the wolf howls helplessly from inside her cage. The hungry Dark gathers to the knight once more, like a moth drawn to a brilliant flame, and begins to feast.

**Author's Note:**

> I took the title from this passage in _Game of Thrones_ by George R.R. Martin:
> 
> _"Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?"_  
>  _"That is the only time a man can be brave."_


End file.
